Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Great Easter Scandal

Sometimes you are about to do something naughty. And you know it, and your accomplice knows it, and the very universe you inhabit knows it. The only people who do not know it (of course) are your parents. So the universe does its part and tries to send your family a signal in the form of a digital photo. It says "Hey Parents--see how guilty these two little boys look? Like they're in a lineup? Well, keep it in mind, because in about five minutes you are going to sit down to Easter dinner. Dinner will lead to cake and you will say that the boys cannot have cake because they have already eaten more sugar on this one day than anyone needs to eat in an entire year. They will seem to be fine with this. They will leave the room and you and the other adults will pick up your wine and commence with the flour-less yet heavenly chocolate dessert. But then you will notice that no noise is coming from the living room. None at all. And that can only be bad news when the occupants of that room are two four-year-oldish boys. So you will drop your forks and scramble to the living room only to discover that the boys have raided the "grownup candy" basket that grandma so thoughtfully assembled for the adults. With dexterity you could not have imagined and a level of cooperation they have not exhibited all day, they have silently unwrapped and consumed a shocking amount of this candy. Furthermore (and most unfortunately), you will discover that they have chosen to use Grandma's pastel couch as a napkin. That's right. A chocolate covered pastel couch is in your future. Cushion washing. Apologies. Embarrassment. All of it. Unless you act now Parents. Act now! Apprehend Mr. Who Me? and Mr. Nope, I Didn't Do It immediately. Stop admiring their cuteness and digest the clues! Can't you see them? They're practically confessing in advance!

OK, that's it. I've done all I can. It's up to you to save yourselves now.

Sincerely, The Universe"


  1. A great retelling of a near tragic tale, Ali. Fortunately, the chocolate came off with FOLEX carpet cleaner, the most miraculous household product on the planet. One of the mischief makers was truly repentant; the other, mildy inconvenienced by the chastizing. It usually takes one of each kind to pull off this kind of caper: the idea man and the accomplice. We know who's who! Criminals rarely act alone! g
    Grandma will put those 2 rascals on warning and keep her eyes and ears time!!

  2. Thanks for keeping your cool during the whole thing Mom--I really appreciate it! :o)