The Secret Lives of Amagasus

To all outward appearances, we are a scientist, writer, and cheese-loving toddler. But lock us in the house on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and we become the City of Mountain View's best hope for a gold medal in Olympic tandem couch jumping. 

Oh sure, the IOC is resisting our petition to add it to the official roster of olympic events, but we're sending them photos like these to prove the popularity of the sport in our our area, and illustrate it's potential as a major TV draw. And in case you're wondering, yes--those are the official team uniforms, and the two contestants in the photo above are executing a perfect Flying Cheeseater. 

How can you tell? 

Well, like almost all Olympic sports the feet are important, and as you can see, in this case, the contestant being lifted has his feet relaxed and legs apart. He's also smiling, which is essential (just ask the ice skaters), his shirt is about to fall over his head, but is not actually covering his eyes (tricky--even for experts), and he is not vomiting on his teammate, which is the true sign of a champion--particularly when doing a Flying Cheeseater right after lunch. 

His teammate on the other hand, contributes in a more subtle fashion. His gray t-shirt and weathered black boxer shorts are part of a calculated strategy to avoid distracting viewers from  his partner's flashy costume and flashier moves. His shaved legs help us to appreciate the toned, athletic musculature that is the telltale sign of the world-class couch jumper. And of course he has executed the lift perfectly and is smiling at his partner fearlessly--even with the knowledge that hot recycled lunch could come raining down on him at any moment.